just another day...

dangling from the chakra rail ,fighting their way out when the stoppage comes and bearing an incessant dhakka dhakki ;after the long hours of 9 to 5 office,people return back homewards actually with a smile on their faces,cracking jokes with their colleagues who have ceased to be just so and grown to be friends in this rather tiring and mundane process.
it actually struck me to be quite strange and odd...i just have to bear with say 4 hours of classes that also 4 days a week (if i do not consider the off periods and the considerable amount of bunking involved) and just for that the amount i crib and whine ,and to think there are people who slog the entire day at office and go back home having a discussion on how pretty poonam dhillon looked in saree at some filmfare award...or say how they consider rekha as a truly timeless beauty...in actually a very jovial mood.one guy commented:"arre bari giye 3 peg whisky mane liquor cha ar muhammad rafi,uff swargo dada swargo!!"
swargo ki sundar living room tai hoye jai aneker,ar aneke khuje berai sei swarger choa...
yeah it was just another day i bunked college!!
just another day i chanced upon some people tired from being the bearer of the burden of the tag of the bread earner of the family...just some people who inspite of facing a lot of hardships throughout the day,inspite of being worn out compeletely...find the spirit and enthusiasm to crack jokes at each other...to say:"tari tarkarir ja dam amar bou kheteo chai na ami khaoateo chai na...gan kheyei amader din kete jai"
jiboner dukkho gulo k express karar ki sundar padhyoti...
yeah truly it was just another day...
one can find inspiration in books ,movies,individuals...today was a day i found the conversations of just another bunch of commoners inspiring...
but yeah probably it will slip out of my mind in say a week or two...am i going to be inspired for my entire life,hell no!!
no,i did not find motivation to let go of the bundles which bog me down in a deep dark swamp of no return, shame and humiliation...i did not find the desire to let go...
today was just another day...
yes...a day i met human spirit at her most vivacious self in a group of middle aged common men...
and for this beautiful evening i am thankful...

dhurrr...bhallagchena...bolechilam na i hate late nite posts...i am in weird moods most of the times...specially nowadays...everything is going haywire...lots of changes...too hard to digest...

[:)]

1.a certain phone call made me rush to 8 b today for no obvious reasons at all...
2.a few sms es make me smile at myself for hours...
3.a cup of coffee with certain few leave me glowing for hours...
4.the prospect of going over to some place does make me have butterflies in my tummy...
5.and my school friends calling up suddenly just like that and the prospect of a plan of meeting them ...no matter what...makes me
amazingly excited and immensely happy...

no i don't really wish for any change after all...after all if u have someone whose one sms can make smile at urself in the
bus and not even care whether people are looking or not...then who needs somebody else...if a missed call can make you finish your stupid paper in a
hurry and rush then everythings fine...it may not last...i know it is not going to...but then nothing does...at least it did for a few days...

realisation...

i feel i have got an amazing capability of not even looking at things when they stare point-blank at your face...i can continue to be oddly blank unless the facts give me a sharp jibe or even a rude shock garnished with humiliation or embarrasment at times...people do call me naive or gullible at times...but i consider this behaviour of mine owing to nothing but utter stupidity

a spoonful magic

i am feeling miserable...alone...

i tried amitabha ghosh...agatha christie...

maybe it is time to go back to harry potter...

wingardium laviosa!!

it does not even matter...

telling myself it is not important over and over again...i now know it is not so...

sms and scraps, most importantly it is ur instincts which count and tell you the truth...

a single yes shakes me up...

i know it is not easy ,i shall not even endeavour to make it so...

i just begin by doing the hardest thing...i forgive myself...

the last year...

In front of the keyboard I sit reflecting on the past year…I dare say one of the most important years of my life…a year which made me stand in front of my weakness…a year which made me face my fears…a year which exposed my insecurities…a year which taught me to trust people…most importantly a year which taught me the importance of right and wrong…and pointed out the necessity of remaining true to oneself otherwise how hard looking at oneself in the mirror may become…

This year marked several important events particularly in my personal life…owing to certain people …
1. srijani thank you dear for being there…just your presence still matters a lot…
2. debolina for being a friend…
3. sohini di…though this year we had our share of differences, though I have been very rude and indifferent at times still you are an amazing person and the best sister one can have…
4. eman da…only two words for you …hats off!!
5. satyaki da…you do make a difference…
6. subha and debo…for making me feel I belong to the department…

These are only a few to state …arko da ,biju, honey each are very special to me…I will miss u guys a lot!!i mean when I felt there is nobody to trust…I felt alone…lost…I felt low…I could not even gather up the courage to look at myself …knowingly or unknowingly u guys have been there…don’t really know what would have done without u!!thakn you jupc…for giving me all these… for giving me a gamut of experience to cherish and remember all my life…thakn u jupc for giving me such amazing friends…thank you jupc for bakkhali and benaras …those were experiences of a lifetime…