paint me white...

ek fali hasi
ek mutho roddur...

a touch of green
a certain smell...

i lose my senses
intoxicated...on a perpetual high

a whirl of flame
ebony black...it all goes up in the smoke

mirror mirror on the wall...tell me who's the darkest of all

i dread the answer

two eyes look at me
no questions,no answers
just a small look
my insides melt...hot lead
a burning sensation

conscience can be such a pain in the ass...

hung heavy with anticipation...the air seemed rusted to the senses...
the long wait saturated with expectations made me go jittery in the tummmy,unable to digest the smell of heavy lead filtering through my nostrils making way into the lungs...
my mind was strangely empty...a void...astonishingly without any preconceived notions...
nature seemed to voice my thoughts ,putting on a mask of bland colourless veil...indifferent to so many people queing by the roads...yeah indifference can be a strange virtue after all!!
the wait came to an end!!
they came...
people do anything to get a blessing of the so called almighty ...dont they...they can do anything just get someting that might show them as the receivers of god's grace...with no offence i do find this funny...but then belief can prove to be very powerful at times...
personally i don't believe in god...i refuse to believe in anything godly...yeah a portion of my egoistic nature is reflected through this attitude...but then this is me!!
but still...today...the whole ambience ...the mood...the pulse touched me!!
i did not go to touch their holy palanquin or that chaddar...but the believes of those many a people touched a chord somewhere...i was moved...
the song...even though i could not follow the urdu lyrics...that powerful voice reverberated in my heart...made me feel like a part of the mourning...
it unleashed a cascade of emotions ...i never knew they existed...overwhelmed by the mood i was left standing...just taking in the raw emotions ...
was in the rhythm...the beat...the passion of their belief...or was in just the response of a mind shaken from seeing blood stained pink clothes and fresh wound even on little children...
i don't really know...i don't think that i should even try to ever...
all i can say is...
overwhelmed...i pray for their souls...

happy new year!!

a new year...a new beginning...a new game...a new bargain...

yet...

it is still there...

happy new year...sweetheart!!